People will reject you for a variety or reasons, 99% of which aren’t personal. They may have a partner, want to hang out with friends, feel tired, etc. Don’t take it personally. Use this knowledge to confidently ask out the next girl.
A big part of confidence is reflected in the mantra, “fake it until you make it.” Act confident and you will, in time, feel confident. A lot of confident people in the world still struggle with personal doubts. They’re consistently able to put those doubts to rest, however, through sheer force of will.
Head up to the bar and stand next to a woman you’re interested in. As you wait to order a drink, make your move.
Talking casually in the line is a great way to make someone comfortable, and they’ll be more likely to talk to you again once you’re inside.
Women on the edges of the room or the dance floor are often more receptive to a conversation.
Move your group of friends closer to a group of ladies. Having friends around builds confidence and makes it more likely that one of you will start up a conversation.
3 Smile and introduce yourself. It is remarkably simple and yet remarkably effective. In fact, many researchers have found that a simple smile and hello is the best “pick-up line” on the planet. While you’ll need to have some conversation topics on hand, breaking the ice doesn’t require a perfect pick-up line. More often than not they’ve heard it before and it won’t be funny or charming.If she smiles back and introduces herself, offer to buy her a drink. Make sure, however, that she doesn’t have a full drink right in front of her.
4 Laugh, joke, and keep the conversation light. You aren’t trying to determine if someone is your soulmate, you’re just trying to break the ice. Mention something about the club, her drink, or the music. Humor is one of the best ice-breakers on the planet, so throwing in a joke here and there shows that you are spontaneous, fun, and laid-back.”What do you do for work?”
“What would you rather be doing than work?”
“Tell me a little about yourself.”
Avoid talking about marriage, exes, or long-term commitments. These are big, difficult questions that usually come up later in a relationship. Remember that flirting is supposed to be light and fun, not serious.
5 Prioritize listening to her over talking at her. Listening is more than shutting up and nodding along. It is about asking good questions, chiming in when you have a relevant story or opinion, and being genuinely interested in what she has to say. Talking about your life and how great you are is a sure-fire way to get passed up.Give longer than one-word answers by elaborating on answers before asking her opinion or reaction.
If you find yourself talking for more than 1-2 minutes at a time, stop and ask her a question.
Let the conversation flow — there is no “right” way to talk to someone. Just be yourself, ask questions, and let yourself be genuinely interested in what she has to say. If you’re not, maybe it is time to move on to someone else.
6 Give genuine, honest compliments. Saying “you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” is bland and unspecific and she will, more likely than not, not believe you. But if she has beautiful eyes, a great fashion sense, or killer hair, tell her. You don’t want to rain compliments down on her, but a genuine and well-thought out bit of praise will go a long way towards signaling your attraction and showing you aren’t some shark prowling for the most beautiful woman you can find.If she complements you back, don’t deflect or ignore it. Thank her politely and accept the compliment.
7 Break the touch barrier once you’ve developed some chemistry. She’s laughing, making eye contact, and smiling, and the best way to see if she’s ready for a dance is to lightly make contact. When you get up, gently place your hand on the top of her arm or the small of her back, or touch her hand at the bar when she makes a joke or good point. If she doesn’t recoil or seem offended, then you know there’s a connection.Don’t linger or grab hold; a brief touch on a non-threatening area, like the arm or hand, is enough.
8 Be direct and ask for a dance. Sometimes a simple, confident approach is all you need to get the girl on your arm. Once you’ve smiled, made eye contact, and said a few words, nod towards the floor and ask her to dance. While this may seem like the equivalent of asking for a kidney donation in the moment, one dance at the club is hardly a serious favor to ask. A little confidence and directness will go a long way:”Let’s dance.”
“Can I borrow you for a song?”
”I love this song. Want to join?”
10 Don’t take yourself too seriously. The club is not the place for grand romantic gestures. You should be fun and flirty, not hell-bent on bringing home the woman of you dreams. You’ll likely end up making a joke of yourself with a corny or oddly timed line that you clearly stole from a movie or pick-up website.Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, show of a funky dance move or two, and joke about the club. You should, however, do this in moderation — a little humility is nice, but most women don’t want to go home with a total goofball.
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